Wednesday, October 14, 2020

I Challenge you to Entertain

 I am saddened and confused at how some people place politics above relationships. Their actions say, If you don't believe like me, then you're an idiot and I can't be kind or respect you. 

I recently saw the end to a fifty year friendship over politics. And it makes me sad, but also somewhat relieved. Let me give you some background - see if maybe you can relate. 

I am not a Trump supporter, but I have friends that are. With most of them we either avoid the topic or simply speak with respect to each other about our differences. But I had one friend that could not do that. And I could count on every interaction ending in anger and frustration. 

When you become obsessed with something you can't think about or do anything else. You are consumed with it. My friend was that way with politics - and she is far right winged, where I lean left. Every time we spoke, she insisted on asking my opinion on one thing or another relating to the current political disputes. And when my answer did not align with hers, she became hostile. It felt as though I was being bullied into moving to her way of thinking. For too long I gave in and said what she wanted to hear for the sake of the relationship. But when you do that, eventually you burst. Especially when the other party does not value the relationship over politics.

Her obsession took her away from all other interests and we suddenly had nothing left in common. The last conversation we had was ugly. I refused to be bullied. I spoke my mind and turned the anger back onto her. Maybe not the best choice, but clearly my point of view nor my feelings were ever considered and never would be. And then it was over.

I am sad. I am sad that so many people are like that. They would rather give up relationships than respect another person's right to disagree - to even try to understand the other point of view. I'm sad that I allowed her behavior to affect my own. 

In these times of turmoil, it's even more important for us to treat each other with kindness. It is more important to value the relationships - outside of social media and outside of politics. And in these uncertain and constantly changing times, we need each other. We need those relationships. We need to know we are respected and that we need respect those in our lives. We all need to simply be quiet and listen for a bit. 

I remember in college, (I attended late in life) during a class discussion of just this topic, the professor saying, "It is our responsibility to entertain other people's ideas, to try to understand why they hold certain values. We don't have to 'marry' them, simply entertain them." 

And so I challenge you, do something kind every day. Allow others to express their thoughts even if they don't align with yours. I challenge you to entertain. 



2 comments:

  1. I appreciate your opinion. I think these things aren’t just “thoughts” anymore. There are real changes that are being proposed which will literally transform our country. How I live. Maybe your friend felt like me-threatened by proposed policies. I think we have to talk about policies and leave personalities out of it. I really hope you and your friend can forge a new friendship. We are in such need for kindness and prayer these days. Thanks for bringing up a situation that is going on in many peoples lives.
    Kathy

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  2. Listening is the good gift we give to ourselves when we give it to others.

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