“PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.
GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.
PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?
GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.
GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.”
As I draw closer to the grey rain-curtain, things like this pass through my mind. I ponder what I've done - what would I do over. Then I ponder what's to come.
My friend writes a blog, The Gero-Punk Project (if you haven't read it I recommend you do) and she posted her most recent, "Public Service Announcement" where she again asks the questions - If you had a playdate with your 8 year old self, what would you do? And she asks if you could share some wine or tea with your future self, what would you talk about?
My 8 year old self would be making mud pies (and eating them) and serving a group of imaginary party goers.
Then my future self and I would share some cognac (and maybe some caviar) and talk about those shoulda, coulda, wouldas that we all have. I would have saved better for retirement. I would have given birth to children.
But as I really think about these things, I really think those are my only two regrets. But life has been good to me. I have four amazing children that aren't mine by birth and are shared by three other mothers (three step-kids and an ex-daughter-in-law). I have a home I love and I clearly have plenty to eat! I have opportunities to grow and to learn every day and, even though we are broke most of the time, I have all the "things" I need and even some that I don't. My life has been good.
The whole thought behind this blog is to embrace my aging self. Some days I feel far more aged than others. And some days I feel light and young and ready to take on the world - again.
Although we all face that final, grey rain-curtain. There's no getting around it. This life of ours truly is a journey. I hope you are enjoying yours as much as I am enjoying mine.