Enjoy the Journey

Aging is interesting. As I'm adjusting to the changes in my body, I can't help notice that my thoughts and aspirations are also changing. 

When I was in my twenties I thought about the future. I wanted to have children. I wanted a house in the country. And I had plenty of time to reach my dreams. 

Then, in my thirties, I was married with a house in the city and discovered I could not have children. I am blessed with fabulous step children and cherish those relationships.

In my forties we moved from Southern California to the Upper Willamette Valley in Oregon. We raised the kids there. We saw our grandson born there. I left my high tech job in Cali and started back into child care - and spent the rest of my career there. 

In my fifties I finished college. I had wanted to move into a more substantial role with the state for early learning, but that never transpired. I never gave up. I applied every year - sometimes twice in a year. I became a Master Trainer in Early Childhood and loved it! And time marched on.

Now here I am in my sixties. I live in a house that has a marvelous yard where I can pretend to be in the country. Although my old bones won't let me work outside as much as I like, I've learned to putter. And I like puttering. I am retired and loving not having to answer to anyone for my time but me. I love being able to do what I want, when I want. And I have plenty of time for pondering.

When we are young our hearts are full of excitement of what will be. We are driven by what the future might hold. Where will I be in twenty years? What will my life be like? In thirty years, will my children be well rounded and pursuing their life's dreams?

And then you're there. Where will I be in twenty years? Puttering much slower I think. And thirty years? Well, may not be here in thirty years. And with that realization - that solid truth in my mind - I'm reminded how valuable every moment of every day is. I'm reminded that life truly is short.

And so as I putter in the yard, getting more done than planned and knowing I'll be pulling out the ibuprofen and heating pad tonight, I am drawn into the moment. The smell of the grass I just mowed. The satisfaction of harvesting from my garden. The joy of sitting on my front porch watching and listening to the birds. 

I think life rushes past us when we are young. Our minds are so filled with hopes and dreams, we forget to look out the window on our journey. 

And that is what retirement is for. The time to stop and look out the window of this wonderful journey we are given. Life.