Time Waits for No One

 I've been thinking a lot about getting older and being closer to the end of the journey than the beginning. My husband is 11 years older than me and I think about what he must be pondering. Time seems to have passed so quickly. 

I just read an article on the Geo-Punk Project, What kind of ancestor do you want to become? I never considered that I will, someday, be someone's ancestor. Will they know who I am? What did I leave in my wake? What will my legacy be?

I have no children I birthed. I don't know if my step-children will consider me in their family legacy. I hope so. But what is it that I want to be remembered for? 

I've spent some time thinking about this. I want to be remembered as someone who cared. My family and the people around me matter. I hope that throughout my life I've demonstrated that. But I also want to be someone who allows myself to have my own thoughts and values and doesn't allow others to devalue or shame those ideals. I want to set the example for my children and grand-children and great-grandchildren, that it's not only OK to stand up for yourself, it's sometimes necessary. But I also want to be the example of how to disagree with respect. 

Sneezeleak

I am an aging woman.  I am a member of the group known as "The Baby Boomers".  I am honestly enjoying getting older - telling people my real age.  I also find the changes in my body to be, well, interesting?

Only an older, menopausal woman will understand sneezeleak.  It's that little dose of incontinence that comes when we cough hard or sneeze or even, sometimes, laugh!  Ack!!  What the heck it this??

I'm not ready for depends.  Not by a long shot.  My ego will simply not allow it.  But what do I do here?  I had a bad cough and went to the doctor and found my self in the corner crossing my legs and clamping down as hard as I could to no avail!  You know, that "Sneeze" posture?  Geez.  What do I do now?

I tried those new things that are out that are supposed to put pressure on the urethra to prevent "leakage".  They look like a tampon.  They hurt.  They made it hard to go when I was really going.  And they didn't work. 

Perhaps this is TMI (Too Much Information), but why are we so hesitant, or flat out opposed, to talk about these thing?  Oddly, it happens to most of us!  It's made me acutely aware of just how self-conscious we are about our bodies.  We prefer to pretend we are perfect, with no odd goings on at all, when just about everyone else around us is doing the same thing!

I propose a challenge.  Let's talk!  What is going on with your aging self and what are you doing about it?  Talk here - talk to a friend - But let's get out there!  Am I the only one that finds these new experiences both interesting and frustrating and in some ways, humorous?  Our bodies are amazing, just how they are at this moment.  Our aging issues are badges of honor that we've made it this far!

Life is short.  We are all young, then we all are old.  Old is not a negative thing.  Old is part of the process. Old is beautiful!  I have a sign in my office that says, "Never regret getting older.  It's a privilege denied many".  It's a privilege I embrace.

This is my mom, a few years before she died.  She was not given the privilege of getting older.  She died at 50.

I am thankful for my aging self.  Sneezeleak and all.  I am thankful for the experiences in my life, memories I would not have had I not lived all the years that I have.  I am thankful for today and treasure the moments.  Tomorrow is promised to no one - Today is a treasured gift.  Don't let it slip away.

This is me and my grandson.  If I were not getting older, I would not have this amazing young man in my life.  He is a treasure!

What is your Music?

I drive to work - a long drive.  I'm lucky if it's under 40 minutes.  That's a lot of time to sit and look out the window.  I listen to music - news radio (I really like Tim and Terri on KPAM).  But if time really goes by quicker when you age (and yes, science shows our brains change the way we perceive time), then why am I wasting over six hours a week?

A co-worker shared a free app with me for my phone - Overdrive. It allows you to borrow audio books from your local library.  So I did it.  The first two books I borrowed are by Wayne Dyer (one of my favorite inspirational speakers).  The titles are 10 Secrets to Success and Inner Peace and Appying the 10 Secrets to Success and Inner Peace.

I only started listening yesterday, so I'm on number 4 - But number 2 is the one that really resonated with me -

The 2cnd secret is "Don't die with the music still in you".  He uses music as the analogy of our personal passion and purpose.  His discussion is discovering the passion inside you, that thing that makes you soar and grow - that thing that makes us feel like we are truly reaching our potential and purpose. Our music.

This got me to thinking.  I'm in the final quarter of my life.  Do I even know what my music is?  If I don't know the music, how can I get it out?  I've reflected on my life and the things that make me feel wonderful about doing them.  I love to sing.  I feel in my element when I stand in front a crowd and belt out a song.  Dr. Dyer suggests you can even make a living at doing what you're passionate about.  But I'm not a song writer and no one wants to pay you to continually sing someone else's songs.  I love to take pictures - I love to write - I love to learn.  So what really is my passion and how can I make a living doing it?

I have decided this will be my week of reflection.  To really look inside and find my music.  To really understand how that music defines me and my purpose.

And I challenge you to do the same.  Leave me a comment and tell me how you are reaching inside. Are you in?

Hot Flashes

When I first started menopause I had hot flashes – bright red skin turning hot flashes.  And night sweats!  Wow.  How can you sweat when the heater is off and its 28 degrees outside?  Well I did! 

I used HRTs for a while, then tapered off of them.  Heart disease runs in my family and I already have high blood pressure, so I was a little worried about the side effects of the drugs.  Over the course of a year I took them daily, then every other day, to eventually none. 

It’s been about 10 years since I took hormones and I’ve had little to no issues with hot flashes.  Then suddenly one day – They’re back! 

I sat in a meeting yesterday and my face and arms started to turn fiery red!  I felt like someone had turned the heat way up in my office.  I took of my sweater (fortunately is was a cardigan with a tank top under it) and opened the window.  Five minutes later, the window gets closed and the sweater goes back on.  Fifteen minutes later the routine begins again.

I’ve heard it called a woman’s personal summer.  It’s not.  Summer is lazy and breezy and wonderful when the sun soaks your skin and you relax in the beauty of it.  This is not a summer day.

I get why our bodies change as we age.  We don’t bear children anymore so our bodies don’t need all the parts and hormones and other things needed to do that job.  But why must other parts of our bodies rebel against the change?  Like the ol’ thermostat!

So what are my options?  Hormone Replacement again?  No – not worth the risk.  Taking soy supplements?  No – recent studies show that to be equally dangerous. 

I guess my options are to go out and buy lots of tank tops I can layer with shirts and cardigans – and get my workout taking them off and on and off and on…..

Ah – the joys of being an older woman.

Well, time to go shopping……