What? Three Months??

I really need to be more diligent in my postings!! It's been three months??  No Way!

Yes way - Well - here is what my life has been -

Work - crazy busy at work!! Budgets, Huge fundraising event, USDA renewals, hiring, losing and hiring again.... and the list goes on!

Home - I got sick with the flu - Hubby got sick, but not the flu - two days in the emergency room!  Thankfully he's on the road to recovery.  His insomnia is my insomnia!

Weight loss - well - I hit a plateau - A huge plateau!  So I decided to join weight watchers online.  After a month I'm starting to drop again.  Last weight, 196.5 - Only 45.5 left to go!!  Oh - and I had to buy a new dress for our event.  Last year's was too big!  And this year's was TWO (count them, 1-2) sizes smaller!! WOO HOO

And the hot flashes!! What the heck?  Those were supposed to be gone!  I'm in full blown menopause now and the hot flashes and night sweats have returned!!  I have doctor's appointment next week and will try to get some answers on that.

And so, I will try to commit to weekly posts - I have three other blogs so I get busy and forget this one.  The one that is my saving grace in dealing with this thing called menopause.  The one where I can vent and share and be me - My therapy.

So thank you to all my dedicated therapists that have stuck with me in spite of my inconsistencies!

My Big, Fat, Menopausal Life

Menopause is an interesting phase of life.  I feel like me.  I still like to do fun things.  But when I look in the mirror I see my mother looking back!  When did that happen?

The Big Menopausal me

My body has deceived me!  I was always a tight, little, size 7 body in a 5' 7" frame.  I was athletic and energetic and I could eat - and eat - and eat.  I ran - I loved to run!  Then suddenly I found myself getting hot and sweaty for no reason.  My flat little tummy started to swell and my waist became, well, what waist?  My little size 7 grew into a 14 (twice the woman I used to be!) and a 16 and now, an 18!  And my sex life has changed.  Fortunately my husband's drive has dwindled as much as mine! 

This Friday I will be 60 years old.  I've been in menopause for about ten years.  My boobs droop and so does my belly!  And food has become an obsession - not what to eat, but what NOT to eat!!  My energy is waning and now I find myself not able to run because of arthritis in my food - and plantar fasciitis and bunions and bone spurs - Geez - this is stuff I used to hear grandma talking about!

So why did I start this blog?  Well not to complain and whine.  It is what it is and all us women will face menopause.  So I decided to start this blog for me.  A place to think about the changes that are happening to my body and to celebrate my aging self.

One of the biggest things I've noticed is the weight gain.  It's not healthy and, with diabetes and heart disease in my family, it's something I need to address.  I weigh 207 pound (up from my 115 pound frame in my twenties).  I've tried so many diets and exercises and have succeeded and gained and failed.  So what is up with that?  I was obsessing.  I spent so much time counting and planning that all I thought about was food.  I was unhappy and frustrated.  So two weeks ago I decided to make a change.

I know what I need to eat - and I know how much.  So my focus is simply to eat enough to fill my belly and no more.  Eat lots of veggies and even fruit - and to splurge on the more expensive ones to treat myself for being healthy.  

I do my stretches daily so I can walk - park far from the door and walk - eyes hurting at my desk, I walk.  And I set my goal easy - one pound per week.  That's it.  One pound.

On my weigh day (the only day I get on the scale) this last Saturday morning, I weighed 206.  Goal achieved.  No stress.  No obsessing.  Enjoying each day.  

So now I move into a new week, with new adventures and new challenges (and my birthday!).  I will enjoy each moment of every day on this journey through the rest of my life.   And I will succeed.