National Dandelion Day - Make a Wish

Today is National Dandelion day. It's supposed to be a day to educate people on the qualities of these bright flowers outside the scope of lawn weeds. They are edible, full of vitamins and minerals - and have medicinal properties too. But when I see a dandelion, especially when it's gone to seed, I see a wish. A childhood memory. Something that goes far deeper than vitamins.

These unpredictable times of what our futures will hold and what each day will bring, it is more important than ever to hold on to some magic. 

I've been using this time in captivity to clean some things around the house. get caught up on my blogs and to reflect on what I want from the rest of my life. There are so many things I could choose. I want to retire soon - I want to write a book - I want to take more time for myself. And more than anything, I want to remember that anything is possible. That family is everything. And that life is what we make of it.

So grab yourself a dandelion today. Make a wish - then believe in the magic and make it happen.

Have a lovely day.

I am Grateful

While perusing on facebook I saw a meme with this quote:

Don't wait for things to get better

Life will always be complicated.

Learn to be happy right now, 

Otherwise you'll run out of time.

The Journey

Life is a journey. But it's not a straight and even path. It's not all roses and birds singing. It has twists and turns and thorns and unbearable obstacles. Life throws punches.

As I have been working through my own problems, discovering difficult things about myself and learning to rise above them, I see others around me dealing with things beyond my comprehension. Illness, death, deep personal loss.

As I ponder on my life and how many blessings I've had - how many hills and obstacles I've managed to overcome -  I am grateful for it all. Through it I've learned that we all need to hold on to each other. We are all a part of this journey.

If we humans reach out and hold each other, we can walk this journey of life so much better. Together we can traverse the darkness and together celebrate the joys.

Annual Words - What will 2017 bring?

My friend Terri got me started on choosing a word for each year, and then at the end of the year reflecting on how that single word impacted my life.  

2013 - I chose success.  I made a little jar and each time I had a success, I wrote it down and put it in my jar - big or small, it went in.  My jar was pretty full.  I graduated with a B.A. degree, 

started grad school, lost 18 pounds (that I gained back while in grad school), had my first paid portrait photo shoot, and more.  It was a great year!


2014 - Prosperity -  I learned that prosperity comes in many forms.  It isn't just financial, however, we had several unexpected windfalls - one was $12,000.  We got some debt paid off, some much needed repairs done around our home and even took our first real vacation in 6 years!

But we were also blessed with new friendships, new family and more.



2015 - Momentum; lets keeps this going!  The first half of the year was fabulous.  I graduated with a Master's degree

-  my grandson graduated from the National Guard Youth Challenge program (if you don't know what that is, its a program for kids that are having trouble in high school - and it's tough.  Almost half his class either left or were kicked out - but he finished and finished well!).  As 2015 drew to a close the momentum had changed.  I was moving backwards.  I no longer had the push of school to get things done.  I sat.  I watched the world go past me.  My motivation was dwindling.

SO -  bring in 2016.  Not just one word - how about a whole phrase?  Lets get this old girl back on track.  The phrase I chose for 2016 was Forward with INTENTION.  I posted it on my phone, on my bulletin board - a reminder that moving required intention.  But I also had a different thought.  I assumed my movement would be where I wanted it to go.  Wrong.

I learned from that phrase.  Movement is what's important - fast or slow, just move forward.  I learned that when we plan the direction we want to go, sometimes life decides on a different direction.  The intention come in play by choosing to be content with that direction - to go with the flow.  Intention is seeing the golden treasures to be found when the path takes an unexpected turn.  It's choosing to grab onto those jewels and make life beautiful with them.  The intention should be to keep the movement going, allowing the journey to play out in front of us and taking those authentic revelations to heart - making them part of our lives.  So what word for 2017?

2017 -  Discovery

What? Three Months??

I really need to be more diligent in my postings!! It's been three months??  No Way!

Yes way - Well - here is what my life has been -

Work - crazy busy at work!! Budgets, Huge fundraising event, USDA renewals, hiring, losing and hiring again.... and the list goes on!

Home - I got sick with the flu - Hubby got sick, but not the flu - two days in the emergency room!  Thankfully he's on the road to recovery.  His insomnia is my insomnia!

Weight loss - well - I hit a plateau - A huge plateau!  So I decided to join weight watchers online.  After a month I'm starting to drop again.  Last weight, 196.5 - Only 45.5 left to go!!  Oh - and I had to buy a new dress for our event.  Last year's was too big!  And this year's was TWO (count them, 1-2) sizes smaller!! WOO HOO

And the hot flashes!! What the heck?  Those were supposed to be gone!  I'm in full blown menopause now and the hot flashes and night sweats have returned!!  I have doctor's appointment next week and will try to get some answers on that.

And so, I will try to commit to weekly posts - I have three other blogs so I get busy and forget this one.  The one that is my saving grace in dealing with this thing called menopause.  The one where I can vent and share and be me - My therapy.

So thank you to all my dedicated therapists that have stuck with me in spite of my inconsistencies!

My Big, Fat, Menopausal Life

Menopause is an interesting phase of life.  I feel like me.  I still like to do fun things.  But when I look in the mirror I see my mother looking back!  When did that happen?

The Big Menopausal me

My body has deceived me!  I was always a tight, little, size 7 body in a 5' 7" frame.  I was athletic and energetic and I could eat - and eat - and eat.  I ran - I loved to run!  Then suddenly I found myself getting hot and sweaty for no reason.  My flat little tummy started to swell and my waist became, well, what waist?  My little size 7 grew into a 14 (twice the woman I used to be!) and a 16 and now, an 18!  And my sex life has changed.  Fortunately my husband's drive has dwindled as much as mine! 

This Friday I will be 60 years old.  I've been in menopause for about ten years.  My boobs droop and so does my belly!  And food has become an obsession - not what to eat, but what NOT to eat!!  My energy is waning and now I find myself not able to run because of arthritis in my food - and plantar fasciitis and bunions and bone spurs - Geez - this is stuff I used to hear grandma talking about!

So why did I start this blog?  Well not to complain and whine.  It is what it is and all us women will face menopause.  So I decided to start this blog for me.  A place to think about the changes that are happening to my body and to celebrate my aging self.

One of the biggest things I've noticed is the weight gain.  It's not healthy and, with diabetes and heart disease in my family, it's something I need to address.  I weigh 207 pound (up from my 115 pound frame in my twenties).  I've tried so many diets and exercises and have succeeded and gained and failed.  So what is up with that?  I was obsessing.  I spent so much time counting and planning that all I thought about was food.  I was unhappy and frustrated.  So two weeks ago I decided to make a change.

I know what I need to eat - and I know how much.  So my focus is simply to eat enough to fill my belly and no more.  Eat lots of veggies and even fruit - and to splurge on the more expensive ones to treat myself for being healthy.  

I do my stretches daily so I can walk - park far from the door and walk - eyes hurting at my desk, I walk.  And I set my goal easy - one pound per week.  That's it.  One pound.

On my weigh day (the only day I get on the scale) this last Saturday morning, I weighed 206.  Goal achieved.  No stress.  No obsessing.  Enjoying each day.  

So now I move into a new week, with new adventures and new challenges (and my birthday!).  I will enjoy each moment of every day on this journey through the rest of my life.   And I will succeed.